April 9, 2006 Des Moines Palm Sunday 

Lent 6

Matthew 5:4           Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted

 

“And soon the night of weeping”

I don’t know what it means to cry.  That’s not to say that I have no experience with weeping.  You have not needed to sit very many Sundays in these pews to learn first hand that tears come rather commonly to me.  I don’t particularly like it; in fact, I wish it weren’t so, but there it is:  I cry.  No, what I mean by that opening comment is that I don’t know what those tears mean.  Years ago, when I drove away from home that decisive August morning on my way to college, I was hardly out of the driveway when I suddenly began to cry.  What was inside of those tears?  I was giddy, I was growing up, I was thrilled with the prospect of all that lay ahead.  And yet nonetheless, I was crying.

          Years later, one Sunday morning in December of 1981, I kneeled in the chancel of my home church in Abilene, TX while Dutch Schultz and Royce Farnsworth and Jack Fullwiler and Albert McAllister and the rest of the elders of that congregation laid their hands on my head as I was ordained to the Christian ministry.  I’m sure it had nothing to do with physical discomfort that prompted the tears that streamed down my cheeks, but there I was, in the midst of one of the most momentous events of my life, crying.

          A few miles outside of Athens, TX is a Christian Conference Center where the youth of that part of the state attend camp.  A picturesque lake edges the buildings, and off around one end is a guesthouse with a large front porch overlooking the water.  I went there from time to time when the house was not in use, just to sit in one of the porch chairs, stare out over the water, listen to the birds, and get my head together.  This particular morning I’m remembering I had brought along a legal pad and a pen, and there in the company of the pine trees and rippling waves, the occasional jump of a fish and my silent, cascading tears, tried to find the words to say at the funeral of my best friend.

          If any, those tears make some kind of sense to me.  But if so, how do I explain those that came on a writing retreat I took by myself when, in mid-sentence, I stopped what I was doing, threw back my head in a long and spontaneous belly-laugh of sheer delight?  Or the tears that swelled in a backyard garden on a September Saturday morning in front of an evergreen tree and my father as I tried to croak out the words “I do.” 

          I don’t know what it means to cry.  When I’m tired I tend to cry over everything – the sun coming up, the oven timer going off, the particular shape and curl of the toothpaste on the brush, a song on the radio – everything.  Happy, sad, hurt, afraid, relieved, and simply “moved”, I cry – but not always.  Sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn’t.  I don’t know what it means.  Is it the body’s own vocabulary?  Or the soul’s distinctive voice?  Is it reflexive of some intangible stimulation, or is it pure emotion?  I haven’t a clue.

          I find but one common thread.  Geologically, there is a phenomenon that begins deep beneath the earth.  Surface water seeps down deep below the surface until it meets the molten stew of volcanic activity.  The superheated water then flushes back toward the surface where it erupts in a splash of water and steam – as in “Old Faithful” in Yellowstone National Park, or any of the 1000 other geysers around the world. 

          Surface episodes and events, that connect with the core in a transformative way, which then return to the surface in a spray.  That sounds a bit like tears – powerful or significant influences on the surface that seep down to and connect with the core of who we are, that in turn manifest themselves in their own distinctive drip. 

          If those tears are most often associated with grief, then little wonder.  The death of someone significant to us; the death of an idea or a relationship or a possibility that had laid claim on our imagination quite inevitably seeps down to the depths of what makes us who we are, and connects afresh with our bubbling essence.  The loss of that which had changed us, requires yet another fundamental change.  I often observe at funerals that it’s hard to imagine life without this person who has died, but we must.  And grief is the birth pangs of that imagination.

          According to translators, the word that Jesus uses in the beatitude before us – the word we translate “mourn” – “is one of the strongest words for mourning in the Greek language.  Very often it is associated with the word which means “to weep,” and it signifies the sorrow which issues in tears.” [1]

          No gentle or sentimental sadness, this, as William Barclay describes it, is the kind of “sorrow which pierces the heart; poignant, piercing and intense.  It is the sorrow which is visible; it is the sorrow which can be seen in a [person’s] bearing, a [person’s] face, and a [person’s] tears.  It is the sorrow which [people are] bound to show to the world and to show to God, because they cannot help doing so.”[2]

          Blessed, then, are those who are touched with the kind of sorrow that pierces the very heart of one’s being – for they will be comforted.  Blessed are those, in the language of the hymn that has served as our guide throughout these weeks of Lent, who endure the “night of weeping.”

          Now, I believe in emotion, and I think there is much to be said – much blessing to be known – by staying connected to the feelings that ebb and flow beneath the surface of our lives – and sometimes flooding out into the open.  We perform psychological amputation when we ignore or suppress our emotional sides, and I have found no such thing as a wheelchair or prosthetic to aid a crippled soul.  But as significant as I believe it to be that we honor and attend to our feelings – I’m not sure Jesus was simply defending our more tender selves.

          And surely Jesus wasn’t celebrating long faces – as if the world didn’t have enough grimness already.

          It has been interesting to read various interpreters’ take on this blessing.  For one, the mournful for whom Jesus promises blessing are those who are grieved to tears at the realization of their own sin and the sin of the world.  [3]  For another, mourning is a sign of conviction – the mark of those who are concerned to the point of action – who, because of their passionate and visionary determination are as hard to stop as a speeding train. [4]  Still another concludes that those who mourn are those who “recognize both the joy of the new age and the tragedy of the old.”  As this writer puts it, “Only those who see the light can recognize and lament the darkness.  Yet the very reality of the light gives hope, courage, and comfort.” [5]

          All of which is true enough, I suppose.  But for awhile, now, I have been captivated by the observation of Quaker writer and educator Parker Palmer that as we grow older – especially in our pressured, mechanized culture that puts so much stress on image and impression – the outside of us becomes increasingly disconnected from the inside.  The “persona” that we construct – our public face – comes to look less and less like, and have less and less in common with, the core of who we are.  He reflects on the sad news of recent years surrounding the likes of Enron, WorldCom, Arthur Anderson, Merrill Lynch and the Roman Catholic Church, and concludes that at bottom, theirs is less a failure of ethics than a failure of human wholeness.  The personalities at the center of such debacles became separated from their own souls.  According to Palmer, they exercised what had become for them a “well-rehearsed habit of holding their knowledge and beliefs at great remove from the living of their lives.” [6]

          By contrast, says Palmer, there is “a beauty that arises when people refuse to live divided lives” – when people begin to rediscover their hidden wholeness and reconnect their soul to their role.[7]

          I am certain that there is more to that reconnection – to living that integral wholeness – than mere tears, but I am just as certain that it is not less, and that it is a critical art with which we are becoming less and less proficient.  With the arid, emotional sterility of e-mail communication; with the homogenized blandness of political correctness; with the two-dimensional, disembodied, virtual existence of more and more companies and their “customer service” representatives chained to their vetted scripts, with our geographic mobility and relational truncations; with the deafening volume and numbing constancy of our propagandized news and politicized public servants telling only what they want us to know, which we increasingly distrust and simply tune out…

          …blessed, indeed, are those who still have the capacity to mourn; those who still find the time and emotional capacity to be deeply moved; those who still care enough to notice and grieve the loneliness of a neighbor whose only companionship is the TV, and for whom a ringing phone or a knock at the door is the sun piercing a cloud; care enough to grieve the fearful prejudice that deprives whole peoples of their personhood and opportunity; care enough to lament the loss of entire communities to easily treated diseases or lack of food.  Blessed, indeed, are those whose surface experience can still seep deep into the core of one’s being and return as the geyser of the soul.  Blessed are those in whom the capacity to grieve, to care, to celebrate real joy, to swell with grand pride – to notice the tender fingers of life and to be strummed by them – has not been lost, for they will know the comfort of the very embrace of God.

          I don’t know what it means to cry – except that we are alive, and that it is good.



[1] William Barclay, the Beatitudes and the Lord’s Prayer for Everyman (New York:  Harper and Row, 1963) 29.

[2] Ibid

[3] Ibid, p. 33

[4] Clarence Jordan, as excerpted in Clarence Jordan:  Essential Writings, ed. Joyce Hollyday (Maryknoll:  Orbis Books, 2003) p. 110.

[5] Inagrace T. Dietterich, The Beatitudes:  The Practice of Christian Community (Chicago:  Center for Parish Development, 1993, rev. 1997) pp. 39-40.

[6] A Hidden Wholeness (San Francisco:  Jossey Bass, 2004) p. 7.

[7] Ibid, p. 9